I'd like to start by acknowledging that days like Mother's Day bring up mixed emotions. These could be around:
Being reminded of the pain we've gone through on our journey to becoming mothers
Whether or not family and friends recognize and understand that pain
And ways in which we might not have been sufficiently mothered by our own mothers/caretakers
Today, I’m feeling the sweet invitation to center “self-mothering.”
Self-mothering is shining the light on ourselves…the loving, nourishing light we’d typically shine on others. It’s shifting the attention, care, presence, and nurturance we’d give to others to ourselves.
And yes, even though the “others” are our beloved family members, friends, community members, or colleagues.
What I want to point out here is that “mothering” doesn’t only occur when children are present. Mothering is the act of providing nurturance and care, and since MANY of us have been socialized from a very young age to be caretakers, we end up mothering in most of the spaces that we’re in.
And while this, on its own, isn’t harmful, it does create harm if we aren’t also tending to and caring for ourselves. And I don’t mean to refuel just enough to get back into being of service to others. I mean living in the place of being full, being resourced, and giving from that spacious, abundant place.
The cost of mothering is too high if it's being done from a place of self-sacrifice and depletion. I've seen it enough times to know that this imbalance leads to pain and resentment.
Regardless of your relationship with mothering or being mothered, whether your baby/babies are here, on the other side, or on their way, whoever are the lucky ones to receive your nurturance and love, I invite you to center self-mothering.
I invite you to see what it's like to:
Tend to yourself in the way you'd tend to another that you love
Offer yourself nourishing meals the way you’d serve a nourishing meal to another
Rest when your body is asking for it (without the need to keep pushing on)
Hold yourself with love, understanding, and compassion the way you'd hold another that you cherish
And finally, allow yourself to receive love, attention and care from another
How might that feel, beloved? Would you be willing to try it on today? This week? This month?
Here’s a short video I recorded, which you're welcome to add to your self-mothering practice. This exploration may support you in experiencing a greater sense of ease, peace, and expansion in your body.