The holidays are here. For some, it might be a helpful distraction from having to sift through heavy emotions. But perhaps for you, the holiday dinners and family get-togethers actually take you away from the safe space that has nurtured your healing.
❤️ Dressing up might mean taking a closer look at your body—fearing its exposure and therefore criticism.
❤️ Seeing family members you haven’t seen in a while might mean no longer being shielded from their comments and questions, including the most vicious question of all: “So when are you planning to try again?”
❤️ You may find yourself grasping at the right words as that one family member (You know the one!) reminds you that “you’re not getting any younger.”
❤️ And someone else trying to be helpful may chime in with the story about their neighbor’s cousin’s girlfriend who’s pregnant now after having a loss.
❤️ Family get-togethers may also mean seeing the little ones, whose adorableness may remind you that you’re not holding your precious little one.
Needless to say, the holidays can be tough!
And if you find yourself wanting to sit out the festivities, know that you don’t need anyone’s permission to take care of your own needs.
If however, there are several benefits to partaking in the gatherings this year, and you just need a bit of support to get you over the hump, then today’s love note is for you.
I have the privilege of providing 1:1 support and connecting with members of our Birth Warrior community, and so I get a front seat view of so much of their beauty...your beauty.
The complexity of family dynamics may have you showing up in the room feeling as though your life now represents loss and failure. You may compare yourself to others who seem to be thriving, while, hustle as you might, you still don’t feel as though you’ve made up for the deep sense of loss.
Does some of that resonate? Yeah?
Okay, listen to me good! Go get your crown out.
Say what? You don’t have a crown?
Then conjure one up that suits the expression of magnificence that you are!
The time period we’re going through has been tough AF. And if you’ve been navigating loss and heartache and longing in the midst of all that’s already happening, you should be wearing your crown.
You’ve been winning all along, beloved. Every moment you’ve gone through that’s held pain and dread, you’ve been winning. You’ve been winning quietly. And you’ve been doing so without being able to show proof with cute IG photos. Because let’s be real, healing isn’t usually cute!
In case you need a reminder of all of your quiet victories that show your magnificence, here are a few:
Despite your loss, you’ve still gathered enough energy to respond to and show up for people at work, in your family, and in your circle of friends
You’re reading this now, which means that you decided to go deeper in your healing
You showed yourself what self-love and self-care can look like
When you’ve been triggered, you acknowledged how you felt and gave yourself what you needed—whether it was getting off social media, having a good cry, or bringing your hurt to your journal, therapist, or coach
You had tough conversations with people you care about to let them know how their words or actions impacted you. You did so because you value your relationship, but also, because you value you
You asked for and accepted help despite your fear of letting others in
You leaned into vulnerability and trust with the people who showed you they have your back
You allowed yourself to cry. You allowed yourself to laugh. You allowed yourself to both love and feel the loss
You moved through more than you ever imagined that you would. And you did so in the upside down world we’ve been living in!
...And I could go on
You aren’t a failure, love. Unexpected turbulence has shaken up your life. Every day since then has been a quiet victory. And though they've been quiet victories, they haven't been small ones.
My encouragement to you this holiday? Walk in every room like the absolute gift you are. Sit at every table remembering your power. Remember that you’ve been winning all along.
Breathe with peace and ease, beloved. And wear your crown.
Want to go even deeper in your healing? Here are some resources that might be helpful:
FREE DISCOVERY CALL